Hi all,

Can anyone give me some suggestions for a reluctant letterboxing husband. I just recently discovered this hobby. I found 3 boxes before I told my husband what I was doing. Then I told him how excited I was about this sport and how I saw an area that I had never seen before, how it would be good exercise, etc, etc. He said he was not really interested.

He told me he would go with me to find ONE, however. So on our way to another errand, we followed the clue and found a really cool area here on the Outer Banks we never knew existed. I attempted to find the letterbox and could not without getting down in the bushes and he asked me not to do so. So I had a frustrating failed attempt. I guess I failed to mention that on my first finds I got 2 ticks. We are westcoasters, never having to deal with these ever, so it scared the daylights out of us. I thought if he could actually see the letterbox, he would get excited. But the ticks scared him more.

So now he is totally not into it so I will be heading out when he is working to find them by myself which kinda bums me out as I thought this would be so much fun to do together. Has anyone else had recluctant spouse/partner who finally came around and what did you do to help with that turnaround??

Thanks in advance,
~Buffy

that's easy...
bribe him with things that all hubbies want ;)

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that's easy...
bribe him with things that all hubbies want ;)

You mean you're gonna promise him a new TV remote control????

I have no suggestions, but I DID talk my husband into letting me letterbox during our 20th ann. trip to Niagara Falls! I guess thats progress! Good Luck trying tho!

Well one true way is to attack his manhood. Being a man myself, I know this works. Letting a few ticks scare him. That doesn't sound very manly to me. And as a Midwesterner, let me say don't worry about ticks. I pull at least 5 or so off of me a week and I have never contracted anything. The key is to wear light clothing and check yourself periodically when hunting and then thoroughly afterwards. For most tick-spread diseases, the tick must be there for over 24 hours for the infection to occur.

As for spouses, I cannot get my wife to go letterboxing. I have been trying for nearly a year to no avail. I have worn her down and have managed to get her to sit in the car while I go searching for the box as long as I am not gone longer than 15 minutes. My strategy is to slowly wear on her until she asks me to carve her a stamp.

I have boxing without my other half for nearly 5 years now. The only way I can make him go is to promise it is a driveby (so he can sit in the car and wait) or if it is in a place he may find interesting enough to want to go and do something he likes while there.

I wish you luck...

Wish I could help, my hubby is not into it - but my kids are, so they are my boxing buddies (actually, they don't have a choice...... muwaahaahaa!). But your husband does need to see a box - that might be more interesting - take him to see a box you've found already, that way you know it's there.

And he's got to get over the tick thing. With the diseases they can carry, it's best to take precautions but don't let the ticks control your life decisions ;-)) I've lived in the SE all my life, I pick several ticks a year off myself and my kids (and countless others off my dogs) and we've never had any problems. My husband had (suspected) Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever once, went to the doc, got some meds and was fine. He was never that sick, just developed a fever within the 2 week time period.

Are there really no ticks on the west coast? Amazing.

Other than that - maybe some others who have been successful can chime in? Does your husband like to hike - just present it as a hike, and he can take a break while you are stamping into the boxes ;-))

Good luck, and happy boxing!!

Mama Fox

I still say BRIBE HIM!

fun times in the woods

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Are there really no ticks on the west coast? Amazing.

I live in Oregon pretty west coast and YES there are ticks here I am suprised that they have never encountered ticks before they are everywhere. They are not a big deal just pull them off and use some atiseptic and go on with your day. Dont let fear rule your life.

As for the husband I LB with out mine as well he does not mind me doing it he just is not intrested and that is ok.

Mystic Dreamer

I think you're confusing this thread with one from last week ;)

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but my kids are, so they are my boxing buddies

Oooo..Mama Fox, will you send one to me for a month? My latest passion is Boxing Buddies :-)

YT

YT-

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but my kids are, so they are my boxing buddies

Oooo..Mama Fox, will you send one to me for a month? My latest passion is Boxing Buddies :-)

LOL, I think you'd better watch out what you say! With the summer holiday months fast approaching, I think you're going to get half the AQers deciding their 'boxing buddies' need an English holiday with Aunty Tortoise! ;-) Hmmm. I know Candyland would love to find some Yorkshire boxes....

Ukusa

Can anyone give me some suggestions for a reluctant letterboxing husband.

Divorce?

Sorry, Buffy, I have no suggestions, just more of the same. I'm looking forward to hearing what others have to say on this subject too!

My twin sister hooked me on LBing over the Christmas holidays and my husband-to-be came along. He normally likes hiking just fine, and doesn't mind creepy crawlies of any sort (I'm only reluctant about SPIDERS). For some reason, he just wasn't interested one way or another. For most of the other boxes we found on that trip, my sis and I snuck out and found a box when we could. Though he happily came along on a few.

Once back home, I gave it some thought on how to get him interested, because here in the UK, their are hot spots in a few areas, but the majority of the country is LB-free. Very depressing after being introduced to the sport/hobby in Atlanta which is resplendent with boxes! It's not like I can go find a box while doing errands. :-( All of the locations with lots of boxes are beautiful areas to visit, so my hopes was for some LBing holidays.

My first plan of attack was to get his daughter hooked! She loves anything to do with crafts and was an easy sell. She used to be reluctant about going for walks and now is quite the nature girl, so he was pleased. I thought I had turned him. He even requested a signature stamp! RESULT!

So, we did an impromtu day-trip to picturesque Stratford-upon-Avon. He had overheard Candyland and I discussing there were boxers there and suggested it. Candyland and I brought carving material and made boxes enroute, always looking for an opportunity to spread the joy. All was fine, we quickly found our first target and that's when trouble began. He started to get hungry. Seems we took too long stamping in, taking photos, etc. We finished stamping in, ate and finished making our boxes at the little nearby outdoor restaurant. He seemed very impatient that we sat for an extra half hour finishing up making our box. We hid one of the boxes and went to hunt for another. He wanted to take a canal ride on one of the longboats which we did and was thoroughly enjoyable. I suspected he only suggested it because we were so excited after our last find. Though he was really helpful in trying to find our second box, we couldn't find the box, it was gone. This seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back. I think he then thought it was a complete waste of time. I'm not sure if he was disappointed because his daughter was disappointed (and me) and he wanted us to enjoy our find? Theoretically, he should enjoy the hike, the find, etc. He's just not interested in stamping-in or logging his finds. I do those for him. If we hunt for a box Candyland hid, he's all kinds of patient. He seems to especially like being able to bring along a dog or two. Part of me thinks he feels left out when CL and I are having fun together and taking time from our playing with him.

We have a trip planned in August to Florida where we are planning on LBing along with the necessary theme park forays. I'm concerned. I think he'll be a little better because my whole family will be there and he can always go sit in a pub and drink a beer while us crazy women are all braving the Florida summer sun and humidity.

Any insights or advice? Or should I just make him into a boxing buddy and send him to Yorkshire Tortoise?!? ;-) LOL

Ukusa

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Oooo..Mama Fox, will you send one to me for a month? My latest passion is Boxing Buddies :-)

YT

I'll only send them if I can go too!!! I can be a Boxing Buddy!!!

On a similar note - our librarian at my son's school had the same idea as Boxing Buddies - she had seen a similar idea somewhere else. She wants to find a school Travel Buddy, and send him along with students to far away destinations. She's going to India this summer (she's been planning for years) and tried to find a Buddy, but the only one she could find was way too big. So instead, she sent a note home with all the students to mail a postcard to the library of wherever you go on vacation this summer - that should be fun. She'll do a display in August of all the cards. I know another family who's spending a month in Israel. Can't wait to see the display!

Ok, I'm off to find a box that the kids and I will fit in - so we can ship ourselves to YT!!! ;-))

Mama Fox

Welcome to the addiction, Buffy!

Letterboxing has so much to offer. If you can find his niche then you might get him to go along more often. Just focus on the aspect of letterboxing that he likes and the rest will come.

For example, my husband likes hiking a lot and he also enjoys the aspect of attaining the goal--finding the box. It's a competition thing. He likes to win. So, he's usually happy to be the one crawling through the greenery so he can say he found it. (Alternately, he gets really sour when our attempts are unsuccessful because of his competitiveness.)

Others enjoy solving the puzzle clues--the satisfaction of using the brain.

Others enjoy the artwork of carving (or just seeing others') stamps.

Others enjoy looking through the logbook to see the history of the letterbox and who has been there.

Others enjoy seeing where the letterbox brings you--new places, pretty places, cool places, etc.

Others enjoy simply being together with family/friends, outside in the fresh air, moving those legs and getting some exercise.

Just some suggestions. I do know plenty of spouses that are "noxers"--simply not interested in it at all. You're certainly not alone. But, if you're patient, he may come around. Best of luck!

Amyrica

Been there, working on a stuffy hubby, too. :) We also just started LBing (daughters and I) and have stayed local with it -- parks we know and are very familiar with. When I asked my husband to go he said "I'll go once but it's not like I want to make a hobby out of it". Well, we found our first box and attempted a second. When I invited my mother along to find our fourth box, he actually had his feelings hurt because I didn't ask him to go with!
He joined us on our second attempt at a missed box and we ended up finding it. He really helped with the clues (and I think that helped soften him on the idea).

He's been on one other outing with us and though I don't think he's completely convinced it's something he wants to do often, he is willing to tag along.
The trick for HIM was letting him feel like he was in control...I think it did he's ego some good to know that he deciphered the clue and found the box that eluded us! This was not my intention (to stroke his ego) but it worked out nicely for us.

So....what if you asked your husband to help find a tricky LB? I do think it helps to have a second pair of eyes looking at a clue since people interpret things differently. Or, maybe you can ask him to help design a stamp for a box to hide...or help find a great place to hide a box?? Just some ideas.

We're off on vacation soon and I've got a pile of clues for LBs near where we are staying. He's not thrilled about the idea -- but he knows the area better than I do, so I'm hoping that we can enlist his "help" again and maybe win him over just a little bit more.

Good luck!
Mercs

Well, if he's afraid of a couple of ticks or whatever might be lurking in the bushes on the Outer Banks (which is practically NOTHING) he's obviously not an outdoorsman!

To properly formulate the response that will get him out there with you we need to know more about him, about his personality, his likes and dislikes, favorite color, foods, drinks, etc., exact date, time and place of birth, you know...

I'll run his stats through the AQ Letterboxer Profile Creator and we'll tell you if he's a suitable match for letterboxing!

:-)

I would have never guessed that so many women are having this problem, but it's comforting because I'm one of them, too.
My husband doesn't like letterboxing. There are two reasons:

1. He thinks someone will attack us (me or the children) in the woods.
2. He thinks it is not socially acceptable.

He would probably not admit this last one, but I notice that he becomes very uncomfortable when I leave the group to go hide something under a shrub. He doesn't like other people to pay attention to us, him, me, etc.

He does, however, like geocaching because he gets to use the GPS. But, he does not initiate those hunts. There's still that "attacker in the woods" factor.

But, after all this time, he has improved simply because I'm persistent and indifferent about his objections. Still, I would not expect your husband to change completely. Sometimes you have to do your own thing. I'd rather letterbox alone than letterbox with someone grumping at me the entire time.

-Quiet Place

Hi Buffy,

No real suggestions for getting enthusiasm out of your hubby, but maybe the fact that YOU love it and will be enjoying yourself in fresh air, getting exercise and seeing beautiful places will win him over, over time. In the meantime, YOU have fun!

I would love it if my family were really enthused over LB'ing too, but they just "like it."

My devious plan to win over my five-year-old is to throw him a Letterboxing Party for his sixth birthday in March. He can help me carve the stamps, etc.

My husband is similar - fears for my safety. We've kind of evolved into a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. If I tell him too much about my adventures his anxiety increases. It limits me to local boxes for the most part but I do venture further afield when he's off on business for a few days.

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My husband is similar - fears for my safety. We've kind of evolved into a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. If I tell him too much about my adventures his anxiety increases. It limits me to local boxes for the most part but I do venture further afield when he's off on business for a few days.

I have found this to be true with us, too. I think it's horrible though. It makes me feel like I'm doing something BAD. Usually, I say, "I took the girls on a picnic", which is true because we take sandwiches with us and have a great time. But, I usually choose parks in which I plan to hide letterboxes. I'll admit that I planted one if asked, or if the kids bring it up, but I usually don't volunteer it. He sees me carving the stamps at 11:00 pm, so he knows they go SOMEWHERE! :)

We seldom hunt boxes, but I did take the girls to hunt a box last week. The baby fell on a rock and bruised/cut her knee. My oldest got 11 mosquito bites, and they were "tired of walking" when the hunt was only a quarter of a mile hike. At that point I saw a bit of wisdom in my husband's voice and thought that sometimes it's just not a good idea to take the kids. They're too young to hunt most letterboxes. But, when hiding, I can always choose a place on the path in the area where my children become volatile. :) I don't have to keep going in order to complete the mission.

I don't mind that my husband doesn't like to letterbox, though I wish he did. However, I don't like feeling defensive about it.

-Quiet Place

I do get a bit of that from my DH too. I grew up in the NYC suburbs and am not too intimidated by a remote park in Williamsburg, Virginia (LOL), but he worries.

Jenkins

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I have found this to be true with us, too. I think it's horrible though. It makes me feel like I'm doing something BAD. Usually, I say, "I took the girls on a picnic", which is true because we take sandwiches with us and have a great time.

I use the dog as an excuse. "I'm taking the dog for a walk, see you in a couple of hours". It's also true. My dog and I get a great walk in the woods.

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I don't mind that my husband doesn't like to letterbox, though I wish he did. However, I don't like feeling defensive about it.

I hear ya. <nodding><comisserating>

It is funny, because I think my hubby's favorite thing is the whole tick possibility... having to inspect each other after a hike and all.. hehe... *blush*

My mother-in-law is actually the person who got us started in LBing and my husband, My Mojo, was really excited at first....determined to find a box on our Christmas trip to Callaway Gardens even if it meant we split off from the family. But once I started getting addicted he cooled off. It almost seems like he loved it because he was TAKING ME to go LBing, not because I was WANTING to go. Now I get most of my fixes from postals, but every now and then I can convince him to go along.

It's quite annoying, so what I've done is gotten my best friend, Aliikai, hooked and she's going to be my boxing buddy.

We'll just have so much fun and so many more cool stamps than him. We've decided to make a big deal of how much fun we are having and bide our time until jealousy gets the better of him...LOL. (sneaky sneaky)

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For example, my husband likes hiking a lot and he also enjoys the aspect of attaining the goal--finding the box. It's a competition thing. He likes to win. So, he's usually happy to be the one crawling through the greenery so he can say he found it. (Alternately, he gets really sour when our attempts are unsuccessful because of his competitiveness.)

This is my husband. i had to appeal to his problem solving skills. i gave him clues that were real puzzlers. He loves to hike so that helped. i always let him "find" the box on the auspices that i am holding the camera. Does your Dh like to do crosswords, suduko or anything like that? If he does try some of the brain icon clues and give them to him.
And bribe him. ie..."honey i'll go fishing for 4 hours with you if you go Lbing with me tomorrow.

deniserows
and has had to use the camoflauge nightgown sometimes for a "bribe"

and has had to use the camoflauge nightgown sometimes for a "bribe"

Just too funny. Maybe I should buy one to see if I can get my husband to go with me. Do they carry them at REI?

This is sort of my case tool. I've tried to get my DH interested, but he heard some negative feedback from someone (who doesn't letterbox) who hear from someone else that they found poop in a letterbox before. So, of course EVERY letterbox has been sabotaged with poop or something of the like. I have found one box like that, but compared to the 100 or so I've found, that doesn't bother me.

He also has a problem with the boxes being left in the wild. He considers it littering.

He also has a problem with the money I've spent and continue to spend on this addiction.

I have decided that I don't care! One of my friends from work (Primitive Cin) is my boxing buddy and we plan full days of hunting. If she and I can't meet up, then I take my 2 dogs for company. I'll continue to invite him on hikes when I go hunting locally, but I will no longer be sad if he declines.