"Consider yourself signed up, then, my blathering bard!" chuckled Olidammara. "You know, I admire your enthusiasm. You remind me so much of my friend Kord. Of course, he has a sort of rippling muscle effect that you don't exactly possess, but..." The god looked Wassamatta over critically and frowned. "Hmm...let's see what we can do about your distinct lack, ummm...everything.

There was a bright flash, then suddenly Wassa found himself in a blinding white room that seemed to have no beginning or end to it. "I've always wanted to try this," The god smiled at him with a conspiratorial wink, then said loudly "I need a lute."

A rush of wind arose and suddenly racks upon racks of stringed instruments flew past the two. "A strong lute, one that the bearer could use to hit a creature with and do damage." The instruments stopped, then flew backward until they looked more hearty and less easily damaged. Olidammara turned and looked thoughtfully at them, them said, "Ah, yes! El Kabong!" He pulled a rather solid looking lute from the collection and handed it to Wassa, who took it and found it surprisingly light. "A wonderful instrument. It has the basic ability to charm the listener, but can also be used as a bludgeoning weapon that'll give a rather satisfying sound of a hit well made on contact. Let's see, what else? Ah, yes...I need a sword." The racks flew past again, stopping only briefly as the god made more specific requests. "Steel, speed enchant, preferably sentient with a penchant for self preservation...THERE it is! The ancient sword Sayvmahass. Kord found this one crying alone in a dungeon next to a dead human mage."

"What was he doing crying in a dungeon?" Wassa asked

"Oh, he wasn't," Olidammara said mildly, examining the sword's balance. "IT was."

"You promised you wouldn't tell anyone that!" came a whiny voice that reverberated from the blade itself.

"No, I promised you I wouldn't tell any OTHER sword about that. I need you to take care one of my bards for me. I know how you feel about staying out of trouble and I've a feeling he's got the same idea."

"I hope so, because you know how badly I tarnish when I get near danger," the sword groused.

"Not really...never seen you stay around long enough to FACE any danger," Olidammara deadpanned, handing Sayvmahass over to Wassa. Wassa felt a surge of something race through him that nearly buckled his knees. As it passed, he heard the sword speak again, but this time in his thoughts.

"Very funny," it said. "At least this one has the sense to stay out of trouble. That Kord...can you believe he WANTED to find someone to fight?"

"Sounds just like Kord," grinned Olidammara. He noticed the questioning look on Wassa's face and added, "Oh, it's not going to draw attention to itself by talking aloud, but, you know (here he gestured vaguely to himself) god? Can hear stuff like that. By the way, despite its cowardice..."

"HEY!" it yelped in a highly offended tone. "I resemble that remark!"

"...it actually will come in quite useful in battle. It's actually a little faster than your own reflexes and it won't let you hang around to get killed. Kord was dragged over 100 feet from a battle against a dragon once by this weapon's own power...it's why he gave the sword to me. Oh and, uh...it has a...sound based weapon as well." Olidammara added, his grin widening.

"There are times when it is IMPORTANT for everyone to speak out," admitted the sword.

"And you do it quite well," the god added with a wink. "Should THAT fail you, I've got..." He began patting down his pockets for something, then pulled out what looked like an ordinary old fountain pen. "This!"

"It's...a pen (Wassamatta paused as the meaning washed over him) which is mightier than the sword, oh, I GET it now. Gee, thanks." He rolled his eyes and sighed. "I take it you're NOT the god of thunder or something less wickedly humorous, then?"

"Come on," said Olidammara, as the white room faded back into the original dungeon room. "Would you really WANT a god like that helping you out? They think dying is an HONOR! I think dying is VERY unfunny. I'd rather see you stay alive and take a shot in the bard bag than have you bleed for me. Plus, I've got that whole "god of revelry" thing going for me, so I can throw a "Hurray, You're Still Alive" party like nobody's business, providing you actually STAY ALIVE. So, you ready, then?"

Quote

"Come on," said Olidammara, as the white room faded back into the original dungeon room. "Would you really WANT a god like that helping you out? They think dying is an HONOR! I think dying is VERY unfunny. I'd rather see you stay alive and take a shot in the bard bag than have you bleed for me. Plus, I've got that whole "god of revelry" thing going for me, so I can throw a "Hurray, You're Still Alive" party like nobody's business, providing you actually STAY ALIVE. So, you ready, then?"

Wassamatta_u wasn't ready. Oh, wait... that's ME! I'M the one who isn't ready! Oooh, this whole Out-of-Character-is-actually-IN-Character thing is gonna get confusing...

So let's see, here I am, in what appears to be a wine cellar... only without the wine... or the racks... or those fancy little plastic grape-leaf trellis thingies that make ANY room look like 70s Italian Kitsch... so, really, not at all like a wine cellar. But it IS cold and damp, and I AM whining, so maybe there is an analogy in there somewhere after all.

Ok, so this guy, what was his name again? Oldmanriver? I'm never gonna remember that... anyway, he gave me this cool ukulele (lute, whatever... I can play "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" on it, that's all that matters), this SWORD thingie that TALKS (my therapist is gonna have a FIELD day with THAT one), and a Magic Pen. OWWWW... what the... I just stubbed my toe on... I dunno WHAT this is... some sort of metallic crocheted sweater-vest thingie. Well, at least it FITS, but it makes me look like an anodized Mr Rogers. What do those D&D geeks...errr... DungeonMates, call this stuff? Mirthful? If it came from Oldmammory, that would make sense.

Well, it's cold, I'm hungry, and this talking to myself stuff is starting to creep me out. Might as well get out of this place while I still have my sanity... Alright, Sayvmahass, you can stop laughing now... I know the sanity is long gone. The fact that I am having a conversation with this steroidal butterknife just proves it OWWWW - stop slapping me! Fine- "Mighty Sword"... there, that better? Sheesh, he coulda left me with a less sentient sword, or at least a less sensitive one. Hey, there's a door over there! Cool, let's just walk over there and throw the door open see where it goes.

Whoa! Dang sword... stop pulling me back like that! It's just a stupid door... it's not like there's a monster behind it or something... is there? Aw crap. This isn't gonna be easy, is it? Ok, ok, we will SNEAK UP on the door, using my catlike stealth... yes, Sayvmahass, Garfield IS a cat... good! I did it! I got to the door without the door even noticing. I don't hear anything on the other side... maybe it's safe after all? Only one way to find out... here we go...

*from way way way WAY in the back of the theatre*

heeheehee Is this the show called "Deity's eye for the Red Shirt guy?"

;-D

Quote

heeheehee Is this the show called "Deity's eye for the Red Shirt guy?"

(snaps her fingers and points her teacher finger of doom straight at Cam) Hey, no smart talk from the peanut gallery or you might end up in this ring, too, CAMSEN!

(Cam gets a nudge next to him and finds the deity in question sitting next to him eating popcorn) Gasp...not the use of the made up full name! You are SO busted! But yeah, it IS Deity's Eye for the Red Shirt Guy...he just doesn't KNOW it yet...;-)