Today, I chaperoned for my daughter's fifth grade class on a field trip to The Tech Museum. I usually tweet during such excursions, but today some of the posts got lost. So, I decided to ---inflict--- share them directly with you, my ---minions--- friends here on AQ. These tweets were spread out over the course of the day...

Think the school will notice if I sneak along for a Field Trip to The Tech Museum today? Maybe I should shave...

My last few chaperonages didn't give me enough tweet time. I hope to rectify that today. Also hope they let me use the word "rectify".

I'm not driving this time, we are taking the Light Rail Train. Do I get a discount for being an Engineer?

The Tech Museum is kinda like Chicago's MSI, only without a submarine. So far.

My name tag actually says "THE AWESOME MR. BERKELAND". Truth in advertising laws don't apply to nametags do they?

One of the parents brought donuts. My group crossed out all the adjectives in my nametag.

I got all the chaperones to call out to teacher, loudly, "Are We There Yet?"

Regaling kids with stories of various historical Death Marches as we make the long walk to the Light Rail Station. Worried looks abound.

Aaaaand now it's raining. Switching to Historical Deadly Influenza stories.

Train operators really hate "We are the back of the bus", apparently. That's where they banished me.

Whoopie cushion! Got my nametag adjectives reinstated.

Having trouble explaining to fifth graders that "irony" is NOT the opposite of "wrinkly".

Dang. It strikes me that train windows would be a good place for hand puppets. Left most of mine at home.

We arrived, safe and sound, and mostly accounted for.

Chaperoney rhymes with Macaroni. Just sayin'.

Almost convinced some of the kids that the escalator is an exhibit.

This is California. Why am I standing in line to experience an earthquake?

Got reprimanded by a docent for telling the kids "seismology DOES matter".

I gotta figure out a way to untether the Jet Pack Simulator...

Have been informed that "Denizens of the Deep" is not a kind of Seafood Chili.

Yeah, YOU try convincing a fifth grader that the goal of roller coaster design simulator is to NOT crash.

Spent five minutes programming the robotic distribution simulator until I realized it is a snack vending machine. Score!

With a few more of these Robotic Mr Potato Heads, I could take over the World! Or at least the cafeteria.

There are cameras everywhere on this place. I need to be more careful what I scratch.

It's not called "resetting the water exhibit." It's called "flushing."

Mixing jellyfish DNA and bacteria to make it glow. I think I saw this in Spider-Man 2.

Do I get to keep the latex gloves?

Ooooh. Accidentally nudged the volunteer into the X-ray exhibit. Being charged with in-docent exposure.

Not every screen is a touch screen. Some are clear plastic enclosures protecting highly delicate endangered species. In trouble yet again.

They are missing some of the more interesting ones. http://twitgoo.com/2bblds

When you volunteer to be Digitally Enhanced, you don't always get to choose which Digit.

Squeals of joy and delight, awe and enrapture. Me. Lunch.

Awfully nice of then to provide me such a large contingent of guards to escort me on my departure. Tazers were a bit much though.

"No Child Left Behind" is just a saying, right?

Why why why why why did they put me next to this? http://twitgoo.com/2bbnyc

Enjoyed reading that tweet session, Wassa, very funny. Say, I peeked at more of your tweets and saw what looked like a lego contest, did you enter, by chance? Very cool to see those...forgive my peek if it was private.

Man, if this is only a sampling of your daily activities, I must get a twitter account and stalk you. LMBO.

Reading this was the highlight of my night! The way you explain your day is absolutely hilarious and the pictures are a nice touch. Thank u so much!!!:)

And I passed it along to DH (HS principal). Today he walked into the senior prank at 6AM. It took 2 hours to remove the obstacles and get to the coffeepot. Not so grumpy at 9:30AM.

Aren't captive audiences great?

OMG... I can just imagine you doing and saying all those things..... ROTFLMAO.....
waaay too funny!

Thanks for the laughs,
Wendy

Very cool to see those...forgive my peek if it was private.

No need to apologize... Wassa enjoys a peek at his privates.

Very cool to see those...forgive my peek if it was private.

No need to apologize... Wassa enjoys a peek at his privates.

Especially his colon!

Especially his colon!

You called?

how many times can I click funny!