It's probably too late by now... but better late than never.

SUGAR is the absolute BEST deactivator for capsaicin.

Dissolve 1/4 cup of sugar in an 8 oz glass of water and you have a fire extinguisher. Increase amounts proportionally for larger fires. Use more sugar if desired. I can't say this is recommended for your eyes, but at this point...

Real-life example:
A few years ago I dabbled in growing my own peppers. I had jalapeno, cayenne, serrano, anaheim and a couple of others. One day I got a call while on my way home from work. My wife was frantic and my year-old daughter was screaming in the background. She'd snuck into the pepper patch and had taken a bite out of a serrano. Serranos range between 10,000 and 20,000 units on the Scoville scale; jalapenos are between 2,500 and 5,000.

I literally had to scream through the phone: put sugar in water and give it to her! How much? A LOT!

My DW didn't buy it, and waited the extra minute or two until I got home. 1/4 cup of sugar got dissolved in 8 oz of water, and I pulled a portion into a medicine dropper. I squirted it into "squirt's" mouth, and in SECONDS the crying was over.

*

For skin afflictions, the acidity in tomatoes can provide some relief.

I lived in Mexico with a family for a summer, and before handling peppers, they would always oil their hands. Then it washes off easily. I just use PAM cooking spray. Your hands get kind of oily, but afterwards, dishsoap takes it all off in one shot. (Not that this will help you now, but maybe in the future??...)

Years ago, a group of us were canning salsa--lots of salsa--which meant lots of chopping of hot peppers. My husband had the unfortunate job of chopping all those peppers--and his hands were burning for several days (we use latex gloves--a double layer--now).

At that time, our daughter was a baby and one thing she liked to do was grab Daddy's finger and put it into her mouth. The look on her face was priceless when she did that during salsa making (she did it before my husband had a chance to grab his hand away). We gave her some graham crackers to eat and that seemed to help

She is a teenager now, and we still laugh about it.

BirdWoman/Waltzing Pigs

My parents got me this weird little stainless steel bar in my Christmas stocking a few years back. My husband can't stand cutting onions but he loves cooking with them. He gets all red faced and cries and it's just pathetic and since I am unaffected by them for some reason, I cut almost all onions in our house. Well, this stainless steel bar is for my hands after wards, I wash my hand and rub that on there (it's about the size of a half used bar of soap) and roll it around my hands and you'd never know I was cutting onions 2 minutes before. I wonder if that would work for the peppers?

moonduck

this stainless steel bar is for my hands after wards

That's for the sulphur compounds in garlic and onions. Something about sulphur being attracted to the iron alloys... can't remember exactly.

It won't work for the peppers.

*S

{My parents got me this weird little stainless steel bar }

I saw these, thought it was a gimmick, and then got an even better tip from my MIL: use the faucet. We happen to have stainless steel faucets, and it works just fine. I have never tried it with any other kind of faucet, but it would be worth a try. I don't know what the chemistry is behind it, but it does work.