Thank you to so many of you who have been asking how Greg's visit home was and how he and our family are doing. These inquiries are clearly valued. It took me a couple of days to get my emotions back in check, to regain some energy at all and to strap on my armor one more time even to just write this update.

I must stop and ask that everyone please keep Dr. Watson in your thoughts and prayers as she is visiting with her daughter Heather in Germany for the last time before Heather deploys to Iraq. On one hand, I want to say that the first deployment is the most difficult---and then I want to add a conflicting comment that it never gets any easier. Somehow both of those statements are true simultaneously?! It is my hope that she handles this better than I have and that perhaps she is more prepared after hearing our experiences.

***CAUTION---this post is once again very lengthy and I do NOT blame anyone for not having the patience or interest to read it all the way though. I promise---it is okay. Here goes---

Greg had, I think, the perfect leave anyone could ask for. He spent such quality time with his "bride" Beth. They were never apart. They took 3 days to go back to the place where they spent their honeymoon. They had the mayor of Groveport marry them in a no-frills ceremony on Dec. 23rd of 2006 when Greg was home on leave. Greg and Beth have really only lived together for 4 months and so this was treasured time for just them. My oldest son, Brad, was so thoughtful and had champagne and strawberries waiting for them in their room!

Greg also spent some of the best time ever--with his two older brothers, Brad and Doug. As I had shared in an earlier post, Brad's Backyard Big Bat Baseball was THE thing they chose to do most. They had at least 5 "All-Star Games" while we cooked out or ordered pizza! Brad is my oldest son who is an accountant and so of course he put together both the official ending scores of each game---but also the running totals (which always seem to put him in the lead)?! I will say it on behalf of my two youngest (Doug and Greg)---this is always what Brad does?!!! =) With all 3 of my sons being born in 4 years, they are non-stop competative--in every single thing. Last night I went out in the backyard to throw the ball with Gunner-dog and I saw there is now this big dead patch of grass in the backyard where "home plate" has been for the past 18 days!! =)

Greg also got to see two of his very best friends from high school while he was home and he got to spend time playing poker with Beth's two ex-military brothers, their wives and my two other sons. The blending of families has begun and that is wonderful. Greg and Beth spent time running their dogs somewhere during this time too.

Greg is extremely lucky (can't turn that down as a combat soldier?!). The past two times he has been home in Ohio on leave he was won one thing after another?! He won a NICE shotgun, $100, two tickets to race car events, $50, another $20 and something else on the radio that I can't even remember?! (His brothers are grumbling a bit out that!) =)

On the down side, Greg did have many nightmares while he was home apparently---especially after the sun came up each morning and he would go back to sleep. He still had to take the malaria pills while he was home. They call it Malaria Monday and that is always when it is the worst. He said it's a combination of hallucinations from the pills and flashbacks of being fired upon. It was just in the news again today, but before he left Afghanistan there was some sort of miscalculation or miscommunication and air support came in per their request but dropped huge bombs less than 500 feet from their own troops?!! Greg's description of that incident was sobbering. (AND makes me OLD fast!)

I consider it an honor and a privilege to have seen the photos and vidoes Greg has in his possession. National Geographic quality---and insightful perspective. For me---having Greg narrate and share those with Brad and me were probably the best 4 hours of him being home. Again and again, the evidence of positive commraderie with the Canadian troops has had a lasting effect on me---let alone Greg! It tapped my childhood appreciation of our neighbors to the north--being born in Detroit. My grandparents and great-grandparents always presented an opportunity for me to go through the tunnel or go over the bridge into Canada as pure excitement.

More about the pictures---the explanations of just how poor the Afghan farmers are compared to the Taliban are truly like night and day. Greg pointed out the absurdity of giant billboards advertising cell phones to Afghan farmers. There were pictures of where an entire huge section of the road had just slid down the hillside/mountain. At night it is nearly impossible to see and even though I saw this almost as a joke---Greg and his driver almost got killed because the driver forgot about this missing LINK!!! Greg would have to retell the story for sure!! He has been all over the country, in the desert, up in the mountains but the worst is being temporarily trapped in the valleys or dried up river beds. Greg even had one entire file of nothing but the creepy desert creatures they do battle with---yikes!! The volume of poppies grown in that country has been completely shocking to him. It the collection of pictures---there was one showing that $350 tent I bought at REI for him and spray painted?! Has anyone ever seen those arctic pictures where tents are shockingly staying put but are being blown around like a ragdoll in the wind and debris??? That is exactly what it looked like ANd sounded like in the video of "what Greg affectionately calls home while on mission"! (Again the sense of humor!) Sandbags were piled around the exterior AND interior of the tent! (He said it's not really a good idea to drive stakes into the ground where there might be land mines---MOM?!) =) Oh---the things I've said that I wish I could take back!!

One other thing that came through loud and clear was that a soldier's humor is definitely key to getting them through the tough times?! Without warning (Sandy---I know you'll know why!!) there was a HUMOROUS???? video of how they give each other IV's----and GREG was the victum?!?!? AreyouKIDDINGme?! Watching him watch some YOUNG soldier sliding this needle into Greg's arm while Greg is cracking jokes?!?! That is more than a mom should have to take!!! I don't know what I did or said---but Gunner came running to my side!! lol

Greg also had one round of flashbacks during the day while he was out in public more or less. At least he was with his wife and Doug and Doug's girlfriend. Apparently someone setting a camera down and leaving it unattended was the final straw of what triggered Greg's reactions. That was an unexpected realization for me that something "that simple" would trigger such a strong response---in MY son---but it is completely understandable as well. Im grateful that Greg is relatively open about it among family. A very special thank you to Van Man for sharing more perspective about what a soldier's perspective is about all of this and why. It certainly helped deepen my understanding---where I was clearly off-track.

My middle son, Doug insists Greg did not do anything much at all when the flashback occured, but Greg's internal feelings of fight or flight during that moment made him feel extremely bad about the incident. Greg and I talked about it one afternoon. I had shared with a few of you individually that I feel extremely lucky that Greg allowed me to still be his mother one more time, and share my passion that he should never---have to apologize for whatever happened. Not when he is the one fighting on the front lines for the rest of us. No way. The last night our whole family was home for one more game of BBB and pizza, Greg apologized to his brother Doug and girlfriend for that one night. Doug did a great job saying just about the same thing I had said to Greg---no WAY was there any reason for Greg to apologize. Greg had apparently worried that he might have scared off Doug's girlfriend because of his behavior and she assured Greg that was definitely not the case whatsoever! I never thought I'd be dealing with this type of situation as a mom but I have to say I'm as proud of my other sons and their friends for being so supportive of Greg. Thank God for that and more.

Greg is now 100% sure he will not be reenlisting for a second time. So this will be his 3rd and final tour of duty overseas. I am both saddened and relieved. He has been extremely successful and this seems to be his calling, but the reality of 3 deployments in 5 1/2 years with the 4th deployment slated and on the books in writing seems unreasonable to him even though he supports everything our military is doing in both Iraq and in Afghanistan. None of this is meant to be a political statement whatsoever. Greg and Beth have handled Greg's military "career" with a maturity we are all extremely proud of. They have both saved almost all of his bonus money from both enlistments and have saved a very large percentage of both their incomes as well. Now they are trying to figure out what Greg will do after enlistment. He was 1000% gung-ho with the idea that he would be a career soldier, that shifting gears (while deployed) has been a huge challenge. We are all throwing out ideas and strategizing for him---including the grandparents and so I have faith it will all work out.

One more time, it was so darn hard to say goodbye and not hug him for an hour or more. My promise to stay strong and not shed tears interferes with my ability to even breathe. I had to turn my back to not let him see what I was thinking. Even in my hug with Greg, I could feel that he had already tightened up his protective emotional armor as I was flipping back and forth between doing the same and doing the complete opposite and panicking that I might never be able to hug him ever again. It's like in the movie Mrs. Doubtfire and the 100 different ways Sally Fields says the saem 3 words, "Oh my God", over and over all in a row.

One of the reasons why I have shared our experience with having a son serve as a combat soldier is because until I had gone through it---I did not realize how complicated and how difficult it can be. (And I know that others have had it FAR worse!!!) It has also given me insight and a better appreciation in what it is like to be the mom or wife of a police officer or fire fighter. It's that same daily nagging feeling that this might be the last time I see Greg and so it serves as a double-edged sword. So many people have expressed a wish to help and to be supportive but did not know what to do. I didn't know either before this and so for those who wanted to know, I was willing to share.

So Greg had a few layovers but he is now in Kuwait waiting to catch a flight back into Afghanistan and then right back out on mission with his fellow soldiers and his men. His last night here at home with his brothers was on Sunday night. He got kind of quiet at one point and then said that it is hard to comprehend how he can be sitting here hangin' out with his brothers and in six days---be right back in Afghanistan being shot at again?! Which part of this is the real deal? So now we are counting the days until he gets home. Just before he left he was told that it might hopefully be at the end of Spring next year instead of one more entire year! We are going to cling to that! =)

Greg said that he will now be out of touch for a very long time. We are just very, very blessed to have a son who is strong in his skills and convictions about what he feels our military forces are doing in both Iraq and Afghanistan. My Army mom armor is back on and I've rivited a set for Dr. Watson as well! I think that BR1's wife (keepersofthelight04) has us all beat however and am continuously amazed at her strength! I don't think Jenny misses a beat!

Oh---last---all shipments to Greg of food, postcards etc has been indefinitely been suspended. Greg shared that they have a tremendous stockpile of items that we and others have sent and that they can only take so much out on mission. Since they will be gone so long this next time---he wanted to say thank you to everyone one more time, but that they had run out of room for now in being able to store the care packages. I have retired my "Postcards for the 82nd Airborne"---at least for now. Thanks so much one last time to EVERYone who contributed to that, the St. Barbara medals (which the soldiers ALL have on their dog tags or in their wallets) and with the food donations!!

Thanks for letting me share---one more time!
Trailtracker

Thanks for sharing this with all of us. I have my arms around you for support and comfort.

Hales Angels

TT ~

Thank you so much for pouring out all of your emotion and story of Greg's leave. Please know that we are all prepared to help you chink that armor any time you need it. I am amazed at how you are able to (and out of necessity, must) shift gears for him. I also want to thank you for the perspective you have brought to all of us on what a soldier's life is really like.

Please know that I have tried to put that perspective into daily practice. Example: We still stand and say the pledge of allegiance each day at our school (as well as the pledge to the Christian flag and the pledge to the Bible...that's another story) and I have always been very particular about HOW the pledge is recited. Stand up straight, look at the stars, speak loudly and clearly, etc. I now have a bit more to tell them about why they are saying that pledge and how it is not to be taken lightly. I know it's not much, but hopefully these kids will be appreciative of the efforts or our soldiers.

Hang in there, Army Mom, we are behind you and Greg all the way!
MHD

Mega thanks MHD!!

I now have a bit more to tell them about why they are saying that pledge and how it is not to be taken lightly. I know it's not much, but hopefully these kids will be appreciative of the efforts or our soldiers.

Noooo---what you have just said is EVERYthing!! Ask ANY Veteran or their family!!

Many quite informative and amazing personal emails have been sent to me as a result of this last post and I thank you all for sharing and listening! Soldiers of other letterboxers are getting deployed for the first time and other very informative information has been sent my way that I did not know about. Thanks to you all!

TT

TT,

I saved this email to read when I really had time. Thank you so much for sharing, especially with someone who has only been touched by this by what she sees on the news. You are so amazingly strong. Thank you for describing your family activities, it feels like I was there watching. It must have been so hard to share Greg and not to hug him as much as you would have liked.

We are all with you and you can count on us to lean on!! You are amazing!

Sandra/Lindsays Snowman

Barb,
I have been thinking about you all. Just read this today.
I knew you would need some time after Greg left to just try to mellow again to be able to get to the place of feeling strong. You are amazing.
thank you for sharing.
I will keep in touch.
Many blessings,
Deborah
keeping Beth in prayer too
p.s. yikes, I had never thought about not being able to stake a tent down.

Thanks for thinking about us, TT. I told Heather how stressed you get with Greg in harms way, and how it is hard for me to talk about her deployment. Sort of like..if you don’t look at the monster under your bed, it will go away. Heathers husband has been very supportive of her career and of helping with the children, just like Keepersofthelight he keeps the home fires burning at home. Heathers biggest concern is leaving her two small children. Mike is good with them, but there is still no one who can replace Mom.

KoTL04 has been very supportive...especially since my team left to go to the states today...via BIAP and Kuwait...and I am on a 3 month vacation extension...Greg will do well and be fine...he is a fine example of an AIRBORNE TROOPER...and he will take care of his para's...and bring them home to their families...I know this isn't any consolation...but he is a professional and proves it everyday...so be as proud as you can be, and help keep Beth sane...
Be Safe...
BR1

Hey Dr. Watson---I cannot believe I never thought to share this with you until now. I'll NEVER forget helping this woman who came into The Container Store about 2 years ago. Since I was not on the sales floor much, I had a "strick" rule that if EVER one of my employees saw anyone come into the store in uniform to come get me no matter what so I could shake their hand and tell them thanks for serving.

So one day someone comes and gets me and says it's a female in Army BDU's. So I come out and shake her hand and I had free time and asked if I could help her. She wanted to find freezer safe containers to put birthday cakes in that she had pre-made for her 2 children so that they would have them while she was deployed to Iraq. She bought the presents ahead of time, and wanted to pick out the gorgeous wrapping paper The Container Store carries too. I gave all of that stuff to her for free. She burst into tears and was just so grateful. I thought it was a great way to support a military MOM!

Maybe Heather has already thought of that---but it might be a good way for her to ease her own concerns a little bit??? I've already added all-of-y'all to my prayer list cause I know the stress has already begun. For YOU Ms. Dr. Watson---I have some good ole' American brew chillin'!!! We will ease our stress together?! Or at least drown it a bit! =)

Gosh, listening to the two of you military Moms makes me wonder what my Grandmother went through in World War II when all three of her children went off to war- two sons, one daughter. Thankfully they all came back safely.

I'm glad you are getting some vacation time, BR1, and I just received a package from Kotl04 today. WooHoo. I am thrilled!

I'm going to mention baking things ahead of time to Heather. That is a great idea, and I would have cried right along with the Army Mom.

I'm with Rose. I wonder what Mothers before us said to each other with their Children in harms way.

Rosmarinus---your Grandmother must have been made of steel. Three??! Plus, back then---the communication was not ever in real time---compared to computers and they would go SO LONG without any concrete knowledge things were okay. Even when they got letters--the info was already old. I wish she could share her advice with the rest of us!

I do have a mini-update on Greg! We did NOT expect to hear from him until at least the end of NEXT month. But---he said there are over a hundred men who have access to one goverment laptop and said this new (undisclosed) location where they are out on mission---is the best one of any including Iraq they have been to and (he added humor in typicle Greg-style) said that they are "deliriously happy" since they are getting blocks of ice brought in to them from somewhere---somehow??!! He said they are basically like kids---ooooo ICE!!! lol Plus---he didn't think he was going to be able to get any carepackages while out on mission---but they are back to being able to get shoebox size only. So---here comes more beef jerky!

Thanks for your comments BR1! I posted on the Iraq board---but I'll say it again here---I'm glad you are coming down the final 3 month stretch at least!!! That still puts you back home over the holidays with all of your hunting plans and time to be with your Jenny and babies! You DESERVE THAT FOR SURE!!! Anytime you get a holiday ON the holiday with your family---it's a GREAT day! You can BET I'll be raising a glass of SOMEthing you to and your family this holiday season!!