Read Thread: Just what does your vocabulary say about you?
Re: You know your a southerner if....
Board: Yakking It Up
Reply to: #100495 by oread
Jun 19, 2007 12:21pm
This was sent to me by a co-work about a week after starting work when I moved to GA
26 Tips for Yankees moving South
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You
have a 75% chance of being right.
Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home
the two days of the year it snows.
If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a
four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along
shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what
they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
Do not buy food at the movie store.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone
eating.
Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is
plural possessive.
There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent,
unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.
Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
People walk slower here.
Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you
either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck"or "big ol'
boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with
this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.
If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel
of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his
way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In
fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate,
you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's
windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until
November.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most
minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local
grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is
just something you're supposed to do.
Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is
to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing
in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should,
therefore, be displayed.
Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In
either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer. Florida is not
considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners
living there.
In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor".
You will also hear expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy","Good Laud", and
"Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in
the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of
vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position
for that vehicle.
You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the
position of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it
yourself.
26 Tips for Yankees moving South
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You
have a 75% chance of being right.
Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home
the two days of the year it snows.
If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a
four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along
shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what
they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
Do not buy food at the movie store.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone
eating.
Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is
plural possessive.
There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent,
unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.
Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
People walk slower here.
Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you
either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck"or "big ol'
boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with
this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.
If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel
of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his
way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In
fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate,
you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's
windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until
November.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most
minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local
grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is
just something you're supposed to do.
Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is
to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing
in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should,
therefore, be displayed.
Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In
either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer. Florida is not
considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners
living there.
In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor".
You will also hear expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy","Good Laud", and
"Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in
the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of
vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position
for that vehicle.
You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the
position of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it
yourself.
Re: You know your a southerner if....
Board: Yakking It Up
Reply to: #101663 by oread
Jun 19, 2007 1:12pm
That's hilarious! :D
-gollygee
-gollygee
Re: You know your a southerner if....
Board: Yakking It Up
Reply to: #101683 by gollygee
Jun 19, 2007 1:48pm
And oh, so true. I use "You ain't (aren't) from around here" all the time.
And I know lots of folks who just "need killin'". LOL
Knit wit
And I know lots of folks who just "need killin'". LOL
Knit wit
Re: You know your a southerner if....
Board: Yakking It Up
Reply to: #101663 by oread
Jun 19, 2007 3:34pm
A few days after Eidolon first moved to Georgia, we ran out to one of the local super stores to pick up some item or other. As we were heading back to the car he commented, "I've never lived any place that was trilingual before." At the puzzled expression on my face he went on to explain, "Trilingual - English, Spanish, and Southern."
A.
A.
Re: You know your a southerner if....
Board: Yakking It Up
Reply to: #101700 by Artemis
Jun 19, 2007 11:08pm
I don't care who you are that right there's funny. :)
Shiloh
Re: You know your a southerner if....
Board: Yakking It Up
Reply to: #101689 by knit wit
Jun 20, 2007 7:30am
I do, too!
Like most of our current administration! :D
Oops, did I say that using my out-loud voice??? :D
-gollygee
Re: Just what does your vocabulary say about you?
Board: Yakking It Up
Reply to: #99754 by rozebud
Jun 21, 2007 10:48pm
Accent? What accent????
Sheba
Claymont DE
Re: Just what does your vocabulary say about you?
Board: Yakking It Up
Reply to: #100033 by Otis' Friends
Jun 22, 2007 5:11am
Gee, there's a surprise, I came out Mid-Atlantic.
Sheba
Claymont DE
Re: Just what does your vocabulary say about you?
Board: Yakking It Up
Reply to: #102534 by Sheba
Jun 22, 2007 5:27am
Okay the last one had me pegged as from the northeast (correctly) but this one (and one I took in college as part of requirements saying that you had to be able to speak English without wrecking it! LOL) say that I have the Midland accent ~ basically the non-accent that all the broadcasters are looking for!
Wacky~ at least these guys did not offer to help me with all my snow!
Six stars
Wacky~ at least these guys did not offer to help me with all my snow!
Six stars
Re: Just what does your vocabulary say about you?
Board: Yakking It Up
Reply to: #100033 by Otis' Friends
Jun 22, 2007 5:31am
Midland for me. "it's a neutral accent" per the site.
