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Read Thread: How do you control your kids texting ?

Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302289 by Pet Lover
Oct 27, 2008 7:31pm
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I do volunteer instruction at a youth shotgun shooting group. One of my pet peeves is use of cell phones by those waiting to get instruction. Sometimes we might have as many as 10 waiting their turn. I advise the kids that cell phone use is not allowed. I'm donating my time so I expect them to be listening to the instruction.

Still we catch some using their cell phone... until last month.

I picked up a couple of dead phones from the local cell phone store and had them in my shooting bag. I spotted a young lady using her phone and walked up to her and took the phone. Switching from her phone to one of the old dummies as I walked up to the shooting line. I had 3 of the young shooters load up and advised them to shoot the next thing flying. All 3 boys hit their target and the reaction was pretty cool.

I later gave the young lady her phone, but now all of the students look around just waiting to rat one of their fellow students out so they can blast another one.

No one has messed with another phone.

Set rules, limits, and consequences.

Don
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302289 by Pet Lover
Oct 27, 2008 7:32pm
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in my family, use of phones(text included), video games, are just not allowed during family time. not at the table or meals, during movies it is rude and wrong. During a car ride, if not engaged in conversation I see no problem with an occasional text. Perhaps a rare text while shopping such as a response of: busy now, text later. I disagree with the drone look, blindly following while texting continuously. I think that all involved need to sit down and mutually establish some rules and consequences. If these are not adhered to, confiscate the phone.
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302360 by Don and Gwen
Oct 27, 2008 8:21pm
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Set rules, limits, and consequences.

....blow stuff up.

It's the K.I.S.S. principle at it's finest!

pre
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302289 by Pet Lover
Oct 28, 2008 12:37am
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We just set limits and stand by it. Want to hear a funny story? Several years ago at my daughter's high-school graduation dinner, her boyfriend decided he didn't want to eat, but he did come to the table. He was evidently too bored by our conversation and whips out his cell phone and begins to play a game on it - with the sound turned on. After many raised eyebrows, we finally asked him politely to put it away. He stuck it in his pocket for about 2 minutes and then pulled it out again. We asked, politely, again if he could put it away. He got angry and stomped out of the house. Needless-to-say, there were a lot of hurt feelings at that dinner. I don't think anyone had ever taught that boy manners.
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302289 by Pet Lover
Oct 28, 2008 2:56am
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I don't have any advice for you, Pet Lover, but I do have a comment. I teach at a college, and I recently returned to work after about 5 months off. In those 4 months, text messaging in the classroom has become a HUGE problem. I'm surprised by how quickly this happened, and the students are so bold with it. When I discipline them, they're dumbfounded. Are other teachers letting them text in class?!?

Mandy
gj
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302360 by Don and Gwen
Oct 28, 2008 4:43am
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Don, you are my hero.

LW PhD
"Nice Counts"
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302428 by Geometry Junkie
Oct 28, 2008 4:57am
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GJ,
I work in a school system also. It is also a HUGH problem here. When we catch the student texting, we take the phone away and they do not get it back until the end of the day. If we catch them again the parents have to come a get the phone. Some of the students here are totally lost without their phones. They don't know what to do. But the main problem is really not the kids, it is their parents. It is the parents who are texting them during school. And the parents don't seem to understand that it disturbs that class.

Cedar
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302360 by Don and Gwen
Oct 28, 2008 4:59am
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oh my goodness- I bet she was peeing her pants-
what a great lesson- you ROCK!
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302464 by Cedar
Oct 28, 2008 5:08am
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Some of the students here are totally lost without their phones. They don't know what to do.

I work with someone who has a daughter (in college now) who texts over 9000 in a month!
She HAS to be on that phone all the time...and they don't see anything wrong with THAT???
I don't text and did not know that you can have it turned off...which is good to know since I am getting someone texting me and I just called the number and left them a voice mail that they were texting the wrong number...some were rather interesting tho :)
kooky kirby
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302289 by Pet Lover
Oct 28, 2008 6:22am
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I personally loved DOn's solution. I may learn how to shoot just to be able to do that!!

My kids are 11. 9,. and 6. My personal opinion is that there is no need for children that age to have phones as they should never be in a situation where there is not a responsible adult around.

We do have one hand-held game system that is shared amongst the three kdis. We limit the time and place where it is used. Infractions, or arguing with the adult results in an instand loss of already very limited time.

It is up to the adult in charge to set the limits. If you are the grandparent, have the kids check the electronics at the door when they are with you, and then take time to interact with the kids.
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302428 by Geometry Junkie
Oct 28, 2008 6:27am
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At my daughter's high school, cell phones are to be powered off at all times during the school day. If you are caught with your cell phone on, it is confiscated for a week. After that, it costs $50 to get it back--and a parent has to meet with the dean before it is returned.

And in response to the comment about parents... One of the counselors said that she sometimes gets a phone call from a parent during the school day--and the parent will say "suzie just texted me about.....". I don't know if they confiscate the phone based on the parent's statement--but I think they should.

BirdWoman/Waltzing Pigs
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302512 by Waltzing Pigs
Oct 28, 2008 6:45am
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I hate cell phones. I have one, very few people know the number. I just got one that I can text on....I will admit sometimes it does come in handy...but there is no reason to be texting 24 hours a day. Besides the fact that these kids can't write with proper English due to textspeak, they need to be interacting with others.

We were on vacation a few years ago in Cape Cod and saw a family walking down the street toward us. The dad was on the cell as were both kids. The mom looked so sad, she was with her family but not really with them.
When I see a couple in a restaurant and one is on the phone, I so want to ask the other if they would like to join us. At least that way, they would get some conversation!

I personally have no interest in hearing everyones conversation. I was in the post office one time and heard all about how this girl got wasted the night before and who fooled around with who. None of us in line needed to hear any of that. Especially the kids that were there too.

Its so hard though when its your kid that "is the only one that doesnt have a cell phone" My neighbor was going to wait till her daughter turned 16. Got fed the line, gave in and said she could have it at 15. Gave in some more and gave it to her at Christmas 3 months before the 15th birthday. We had the girl babysit and she spent the whole time texting. I had to have a talk with her about that. She is getting paid to play and interact with my kids, not text her friends.

When its time for my kids to have a cell phone, which wont be for several years, though my 9 yr old is already asking, there will be strict rules. And they will pay for much of it. And it will be checked at the door at bedtime too. These kids are texting and talking all night then falling asleep in school.

And yes, they are doing it in school. My friend teaches 6th grade and these kids are texting answers to tests to each other. They are so good at it, they can do it barely looking at it. I firmly believe the phones should be checked at the classroom door.

And the parents are just as bad....a friend asked her neighbor if her daughter could babysit that coming weekend. The mom says I will text her and ask her. She couldnt wait till she got home from school?

Bottom line....no one needs to be reachable 24 hours a day. I dont WANT to be able to be found sometimes. My phone is for emergencies. Dont call me on it just to chit chat. Call me at home for that. I dont drive and talk, thats another thing that drives me nuts...you see these kids texting and driving. They are still trying to decide if texting was involved in the fatal crash last year with our cheerleaders. Obviously no one will ever know who was doing it, but i see it all the time.

So as the parent or in this case grandparent, set the rules. Its your house! If they come to spend time with you then take away the electronics and enjoy the time. As someone whose kids only have 2 grandparents left, we try to spend as much quality time with them as we can.

Ok off my soapbox now! This is one thing that really gets my goat. Most other things I am sort of blah about, but I cant stand seeing people (adults and kids) with a phone permantly attached to them.

crazyolis
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302289 by Pet Lover
Oct 28, 2008 6:46am
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Here are my humble thoughts and opinions on this subject....

1. Cell phones are ok; but, limits should be set.
2. Do your kids REALLY need to have their phones on their person at all times? Are they running a business and cannot afford to miss an important call or text? Are they the head of an organization which cannot survive without round the clock contact with them? Are they responsible for another person, therefore they must be reachable at all times? If the answer to these questions is no, perhaps it is time to set strict limits on phone usage.

Here are the limits I plan to enforce when my son reaches the age where he may have a cell phone...

1. A cell phone is a privileged, much like a drivers license. It is not a right, therefore it may be revoked at anytime and usage may be limited.
2. A cell phone has no place in school, UNLESS families use them to coordinate rides home.
3. I will retain the right to "hold" the cell phone during any outing or time I see fit, with the ringer or power off. This includes but is not limited to dinner time, letterboxing, shopping, car rides, appointments etc. My purse is a safe haven for the cell phone and nobody is going to die if they miss a call. Calls may be returned at a more appropriate time.
4. The cell pone will be turned into me before the established bed time each evening. This will eliminate midnight calls or texting all night long.
5. On school nights, the cell phone may be used after homework is completed. I will be happy to babysit the phone in my purse until that time.

For any child in my home that does not care for those rules, that's just too bad. My house, my rules.
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302518 by Sharkboy and Lavagirl
Oct 28, 2008 6:49am
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For any child in my home that does not care for those rules, that's just too bad. My house, my rules

AMEN!! My thoughts exactly!!
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302519 by Crazyolis
Oct 28, 2008 7:15am
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Ok. On the cell phone situation. My son has a cell phone and he is almost 9. BUT the cell phone that he has is a firefly. I get to program the numbers that he can call. And only those phone numbers are allowed to call him. He can not text on it. The reason I got him this cell phone is so that he can call me when at his father's and would like to talk to me. Also, he takes it with him whenever there is a time that I drop him off and not able to stay with him. He can call me when he is ready to be picked up or plans changed. I like this firefly for the feature that he can only call the numbers that I put in.
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302428 by Geometry Junkie
Oct 28, 2008 7:25am
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text messaging in the classroom has become a HUGE problem. I'm surprised by how quickly this happened, and the students are so bold with it. When I discipline them, they're dumbfounded. Are other teachers letting them text in class?!?

I'm not a teacher, just a parent (and actually a pretty cool one according to my 15 year old daughter's friends LOL)...anyways, texting in class is a huge problem in my kids school as well as actual phone calls. There are rules at our school regarding cell phone use - they are supposed to be turned off and locked in their lockers when they arrive at school - however, the problem in our school is really just as much the teacher's fault as it is the students/parents...the teachers know the kids are doing it, but since they're not 'catching' them doing it, they don't do a thing about it and those that do 'catch' them doing it, always just tells them 'put it away & I'd better not see it again' only for the same kid to do it again 2 minutes later.

The kids wear 'hoodies' with the hoods up on their heads so they can have earphones in their ear or the phone up to their ear to carry on conversations or listening to their music without being 'caught'. They wear long sleeves and stick the phones in their sleeve, run the wire up through their sleeve so it's not visible.

They prop their books up on their desk to make it look like they're reading when they're actually texting.

Yup, definitely a problem here at our school.
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302360 by Don and Gwen
Oct 28, 2008 7:51am
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I had 3 of the young shooters load up and advised them to shoot the next thing flying. All 3 boys hit their target and the reaction was pretty cool.

YOU GO DON!!!!

WOW ..... I love, love, love this .....

Holly
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302542 by Kelseys Kreations
Oct 28, 2008 8:00am
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That is so funny! I used to do the same thing with my WALKMAN!!!!!
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302557 by TalleyValleyFarmClan
Oct 28, 2008 8:02am
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I had 3 of the young shooters load up and advised them to shoot the next thing flying. All 3 boys hit their target and the reaction was pretty cool.

Daughter Rhonda was a competition shooter up in NY. I can only immagine her and some of her friends in Don's Class. I would have loved to have seen THAT !!

I'm one of the ones who thinks cell phones are for necessities or emergencies.... not for "chit chat" calls. Rhonda calls us a lot on the cell if she can't reach us at home, but she knows to keep it short.

I do think it's funny that I was the "LAST PERSON ON EARTH" to get a cell phone..... and now I get nervous if I forget it at home or something.
Maybe because Rhonda lives out of state and Mama is in the nursing home.......

Kids aren't the only rude ones out in public using their phones.... or driving down the highway trying to text. Plenty of "US" do it too. Much of what our kids do they learn by watching us. If parents stopped using the cell phone at the grocery store or out to dinner.... or even at home when they're having family time.... kids might pick up on that.
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302542 by Kelseys Kreations
Oct 28, 2008 9:36am
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I'm not a teacher, just a parent

however, the problem in our school is really just as much the teacher's fault as it is the students/parents...the teachers know the kids are doing it, but since they're not 'catching' them doing it, they don't do a thing about it and those that do 'catch' them doing it, always just tells them 'put it away & I'd better not see it again' only for the same kid to do it again 2 minutes later.

If you are not a teacher and not a student how do you know this is happening! How do you know "the teachers know the kids are doing it" ????? I'm a teacher and I watch my students the best I can. They are sneaky!!! I bet you they are texting while their phone is in their pocket. And you know how much slack I would get if I accused them of texting without actually seeing a phone!!!

Oh, it pisses me off when someone accuses teachers and they are not a teacher or a student or in the classroom seeing what's going on!!!

AAAGGGHHH!!!!! O.K. I can breath now!
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302625 by Snowflake
Oct 28, 2008 10:37am
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If you are not a teacher and not a student how do you know this is happening!

I know this is happening because the kids are telling me it's happening...it's not just my kids telling me either, I've been told by many many many students as well as the teachers themselves that this is happening.
I've volunteered and/or substituted in the school district nearly every single school day for 5 years, I've gotten to know a good many kids as well as staff members.

Oh, it pisses me off when someone accuses teachers and they are not a teacher or a student or in the classroom seeing what's going on!!!

Not accusing anyone on here, just stated facts for my kids school
the problem in our school
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302354 by Triforce
Oct 28, 2008 11:54am
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I am guilty of texting almost as much as my older two kids. They both pay for their own phones, are on their own, so we communicate via text when it's just a quick question. I must be in the minority as despise the telephone. I don't text while driving or during dinner (one child still at home). My kids and I are all on the same cell carrier so our calls and texts to each other are free.

I've been reduced to a 40+ y/o who has learned to text and ask "? r u doin L8R?"
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302537 by Cedar
Oct 29, 2008 7:36am
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Joey (13) has a phone. We got it for when he was 10. He flies to Texas by himself every summer. I agonized over this decision but felt strongly about it. We've never had any problem on a plane before, but with his high functioning autism I knew that the previous year's luck couldn't last forever.

So he got on the plane with his brand new phone and his usual instructions to "only get off in Dallas". Well the plane had trouble and landed somewhere short of the goal. They needed to change planes to finish the journey. Joey went into panic mode, but he had the phone. He called me and I was able to change his instructions and as the flight attendant got to him, I had him calmed down enough to go with her. I was also able to update his anxiously waiting father long before the airline would have.

I can't tell you how happy I was that I'd gone against everyone's advice and gotten that phone for him.

However, texting is blocked and the phone stays home most of the rest of the time. We don't have a land line so his cell is the house phone.

Tee
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #303351 by Shadohart
Oct 29, 2008 10:48am
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my feeling on "kids and cell phones: when to get" is this.

when the kids are going places on thier own, they need a phone so that you can get hold of them. period. exactly when that is depends heavily on the family situation. kids who are shuttling between parents houses, especially over long distances, obviously (to my mind) need a phone much earlier than those who live at home with both parents and don't go anywhere without mom or dad driving them there.

I deeply impressed on my dd when I got her a phone for the first time that it was not for chit-chat, it was only for vital communication between family members. I started her on a tracphone, which is a prepaid phone where the user controlls the cost. I made her budget her minutes. she proved herself responsible with it. it had no texting on it at all. last year, just before she turned 16, our entire family (mom, dad, me, her) got verizon phones all on the same plan. there's the ability to text, but it isn't on our plan. we had one snag wth texting early on, but she is straightened out. her friends know not to text her. her friends with verizon phones are allowed to call her with no limits. (it's "free" minutes). her friends without verizon phones are told to call the house phone. she still sticks with the early conditioning and uses the cell for communication, not idle chit-chat. in fact, that has transferred to the house phone...she doesn't just chat on that one either.

what can I say, I've got a good kid... :-) but also, I trained her properly on phone usage, and made her train her friends.

romana
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #303434 by Romana
Oct 29, 2008 3:29pm
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my feeling on "kids and cell phones: when to get" is this.

when the kids are going places on thier own, they need a phone so that you can get hold of them

Or them to get a hold of you. With my oldest daughter we did not get her a cell phone until after she was 16 and when I did I had wished that we had gotten her a phone much earlier. With all the after school activities it would have been nice to get a call when she was close to being ready to be picked up. When she was a sophomore she was on the ski team and there was always a 10 to 15 min time difference on when they would get the kids back to school after practice on the mountain (night skiing) I was shocked one night to find that the parent that had drove that time had left my daughter standing alone at the dark school, they had gotten there earlier than I had planned. From that time on I had to sit at the dark school some times for 20 minutes just so my daughter would not be left there alone. When I did get her the phone I could have kicked myself for not getting it earlier. So with my 2nd daughter just in middle school I am watching and monitoring but I expect that she will have one with in the next 2 years. But as with the first there will be strict rules on when, where and for how long the phone can be used. (the 1st did not get text messaging until her 1st year in college and she paid for it her self)

Mystic Dreamer
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #303584 by Mystic Dreamer
Oct 29, 2008 4:30pm
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I was shocked one night to find that the parent that had drove that time had left my daughter standing alone at the dark school, they had gotten there earlier than I had planned.

I would have been shocked and appalled at this as well. IMO, that is one irresponsible parent. I hope you read him/her the riot act. That person should have called you and waited with your daughter if you couldn't be contacted.
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302542 by Kelseys Kreations
Oct 30, 2008 10:44pm
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Re: school and cell phones and clothes : WHAT. THE. Hell?! Seriously? this is more food for the fodder to stay out of public school. My kids are in Catholic primary school. It goes through 8the grade. My husband thinks it will be a good base for them and then send them to public HS. It sounds disasterous to me. Kind of like lambs to the slaughter. That kind of behaviour is condoned? And California is worrying about gay marriage being taught in school? It sounds like we need to get a handle on the basics before worrying about anything else... the thought of public HS terrifies me.

scraphappy
breathing deeply into a paper bag.
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #304469 by scraphappy
Oct 31, 2008 9:41am
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Re: school and cell phones and clothes : WHAT. THE. Hell?! Seriously? this is more food for the fodder to stay out of public school.

this is one of the main reasons why I homeschool

romana
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #304641 by Romana
Oct 31, 2008 4:23pm
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this is one of the main reasons why I homeschool

Well I wish i had the patience to do so-my sister did. I like our local Parish school-strict but loving. Uniforms, Religion, Lots of exposure to other children (and their GERMS! LOL) yet there is NO TOLERANCE for anything but respect and pursuit of education. I love it there- they are allowed to be children and yet are given great support in becoming responsible members of society. AND it doesn't cost an arm and leg. Catholic High School-that's another story. It's already 12 grand a year not including books and uniforms. Oy Vay. Maybe we'll win the mother lode at Saturday night Bingo! :)

scraphappy
who was terrorized in public school.
Re: How do you control your kids texting ?
Board: Kid Shenanigans
Reply to: #302422 by The Wandering B s
Nov 1, 2008 9:43am
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Several years ago at my daughter's high-school graduation dinner, her boyfriend decided he didn't want to eat, but he did come to the table. He was evidently too bored by our conversation and whips out his cell phone and begins to play a game on it - with the sound turned on. After many raised eyebrows, we finally asked him politely to put it away. He stuck it in his pocket for about 2 minutes and then pulled it out again. We asked, politely, again if he could put it away. He got angry and stomped out of the house. Needless-to-say, there were a lot of hurt feelings at that dinner. I don't think anyone had ever taught that boy manners.

The only part missing from this story is...when did the BEATINGS commence??? Just THINK how fast manners would have been learned in that teachable moment! :-D