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Read Thread: A good laugh to start the day.

A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Apr 29, 2010 5:04am
Thread (disabled) Board
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Lite than Kay.

20. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

21. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

22. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

23. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

24. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

25. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

26. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

27. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

28. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet anything that everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510256 by Mello Bunny
Apr 29, 2010 5:55am
Thread (disabled) Board
I can really relate to #23 and having lived in Portland, OR for a while I thought #27 was funny.

Shiloh
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510256 by Mello Bunny
Apr 29, 2010 6:48am
Thread (disabled) Board
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

Most days that hits right about 9:00 a.m. for me!
(Sad thing is...that's also when my work day really starts!)
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510256 by Mello Bunny
Apr 29, 2010 8:25am
Thread (disabled) Board
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Yup. Same thing w/ Caller ID. If I'm paying for the service, I get to decide how to use it! :)

21. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

AMEN! Even if it means dropping 1/3 of what you're carrying, at least you got it in in "one trip!" ;)

25. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

Again I say "Amen!" Unless there is visible dirt on them, back in the closet they go!

-AG
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510256 by Mello Bunny
Apr 29, 2010 9:29am
Thread (disabled) Board
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

I have a friend designated to destroy all yarn purchase receipts when I go.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

And I bet you save anyway! Everybody does!

20. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

There are lots of songs I heard on the radio as a kid that are like this now too.

26. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

ROFLOL!!! (After my chair fell over.)

Knit Wit
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510256 by Mello Bunny
Apr 29, 2010 9:57am
Thread (disabled) Board
I am definitely posting this one at work!

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

How about ignoring Blu Ray? I know, I know, I'll eventually get a Blu Ray machine. But I have a DVD/VHS player that I can record on either one and record between them and the very expensive Blu Ray machines I've seen don't record!! Phooey!

23. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

I've had 5 ear surgeries and I don't want to know how many times I've done this. Neither does anyone I've done this to . . .

26. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

And nothing looks more idiotic than what you look like at that millisecond -- arms and legs going every which way and that shocked expression . . . then everyone else laughing at you!

29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet anything that everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Time after time after time after time . . .

KuKu
who unfortunately has a tendancy to hit the snooze button several times before getting up
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510332 by KuKu
Apr 29, 2010 11:58am
Thread (disabled) Board
23. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

how about adding a new one... How many times you sit talking with someone who knows who you are, frantically trying to use bits of what they say in order to identify who they are, while simultaneously trying to keep the "deer in the headlights" look off your face so they never find out you have no clue who they are.

push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Time after time after time after time . . .

My mom does this. She claims she sleeps better in the stolen five minutes. Except sometimes she loses track of how many times she's hit it, and sometimes she hits "off" instead of "snooze", and then she's late for work.
I advocate letting the thing ring just once, get good sleep up until the last minute, and then get up on the first ring. that way you're seldom late. It took years of work for me to eradacate the snooze habit, but it is possible. I have tried to train my daughter to never punch the thing in the first place and get hooked.

romana, who can't afford blu-ray, and loves her dvd-r/vcr combo...which will also record off the dvr. :-)
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510357 by Romana
Apr 29, 2010 12:45pm
Thread (disabled) Board
It took years of work for me to eradacate the snooze habit,

It took approximately...one time of hitting my new husband in the face accidentally to break that habit for me.
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510256 by Mello Bunny
Apr 29, 2010 1:12pm
Thread (disabled) Board
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

I have to disagree with this one. I know EXACTLY when it will strike... at the exact same time as #29!

29. ...everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510357 by Romana
Apr 29, 2010 2:02pm
Thread (disabled) Board
how about adding a new one... How many times you sit talking with someone who knows who you are, frantically trying to use bits of what they say in order to identify who they are, while simultaneously trying to keep the "deer in the headlights" look off your face so they never find out you have no clue who they are.

I had a system worked out with my college friends and roommates and later with my ex-husband. I was raised to always introduce people if I'm with someone and run into someone else.

So my system was if I started chatting with the person and didn't introduce them right away, they would stick out their hand and say, "By the way, I'm ________" Said unknown would say their name back. Then I would say, "Oh I'm sorry, forgive me. I should have introduced you two."

Worked everytime, as long as you are with someone in the "system"!

KuKu
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510397 by KuKu
Apr 29, 2010 2:05pm
Thread (disabled) Board
Worked everytime, as long as you are with someone in the "system"!

I can just see this scenario:

You: "By the way, I'm Kuku."
Them: "Really? I'm outta here!"
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510397 by KuKu
Apr 29, 2010 2:09pm
Thread (disabled) Board
my system is to always go places with my mom or daughter. both of them understand that I have prosopagnosia, which means I cannot recognize people by their faces. With long and close association, I learn to recognize them by their voices, the way they walk, etc, but their faces just aren't tied to their identity in my brain.

So mom or daughter will greet people by name, which will usually trigger the rest of the memories of who that person is, for me. or sometimes they will tell me in advance who it is I'm about to run into, before we get close enough for the greetings. helps much.

this is probably why I really enjoy letterboxing gathers. we all "know" each other from the boards, but no faces are associated with that knowledge. wee put our trailnames on our nametags, which triggers the identity for all of us. and nobody expects me to know them by their face. totally ideal for people like me.

romana
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510256 by Mello Bunny
Apr 29, 2010 7:45pm
Thread (disabled) Board
20. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

my favorite - it's always, mom why in the world did you let me see this when I was younger?
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510400 by wassamatta u
Apr 29, 2010 8:52pm
Thread (disabled) Board
I'm outta here!"

Nice trail name.

Pair it with Ontheroadagain, there ya go.
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510403 by Romana
Apr 30, 2010 6:48am
Thread (disabled) Board
I have a friend who is face blind but I never knew there was an actual word associated with that condition! I learned something new today!

ASL Girl
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510403 by Romana
Apr 30, 2010 10:09am
Thread (disabled) Board
I'm not quite bad enough to say I have the syndrome but I did used to be afraid I wouldn't recongnize my mother when she came to pick me up after 5 days away at camp. And I never try to remember names, everyone is "sweetie" to me.
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510593 by judithandsparky
Apr 30, 2010 10:34am
Thread (disabled) Board
I used to have to memorize what clothes my daughter was wearing each morning when I dressed her...because then I would recognize her if we went to the park or the store. Anytime I look for her or my mom in a crowd, I still ask myself first, "what was she wearing?", even though I recognize both of them by their voice, walk and body shape.

romana
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510256 by Mello Bunny
May 1, 2010 5:53am
Thread (disabled) Board
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I actually had some telemarketers get my cell phone number. I saved their numbers (really, how many telemarketing firms are that stupid?) with the name "Cuss". I would answer the calls, spew venom for about 30 seconds and then hang up on them.

but I'd bet anything that everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

For an added challenge mine is actually on the other side of the room meaning I have to take a step or two to reach it. I still don't miss, though have been known to smack the cat as well since he sleeps there sometimes.
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510797 by Eidolon
May 2, 2010 8:09am
Thread (disabled) Board
17!!!!!!! All the way! :}
I do the same too Eidolon!
♥lm
Re: A good laugh to start the day.
Board: Funny Pages
Reply to: #510488 by Okie Dog
May 3, 2010 3:49pm
Thread (disabled) Board
Reminds me of a friend who ended up with a puppy -- previous owner kept saying, "Here we go!" The dog thought his name was Wego.

My friend said he needed another dog, called Dammit. Then he could say, "Here, Wego, Dammit!"

KuKu