Festivus Theme

Yes, it’s that time of year again. Time to put up your aluminum pole, air your grievances, feast, and pin the head of the household in a wrestling match. Yes, that’s right, Festivus! A time to cast off commercialism and conformity. A time to celebrate the simple aluminum pole.

For those of you not familiar with this wonderful holiday, this here page has everything you need to know. We’ll explore the history of Festivus, along with the main elements of the holiday.

• Origins: Learn the real origins of Festivus—and no, it’s not the Seinfeld episode that publicized it.
• Festivus Pole: A simple aluminum pole, which Frank Costanza praises for its “very high strength-to-weight ratio.”
• Airing of Grievances: At the beginning of the Festivus dinner, each participant tells friends and family of all the instances where they disappointed him or her that year. As quoted from Frank Costanza: “I’ve got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re going to hear about it!”
• Festivus Dinner: A celebratory dinner that begins after the Airing of Grievances, but before the Feats of Strength commences.
• Feats of Strength: After the dinner, the head of the family tests his or her strength against one participant of the head’s choosing. Festivus is not considered over until the head of the family has been pinned to the ground.

Festivus Origins

Most people believe Festivus started as a fabricated holiday for the sitcom, Seinfeld. Not exactly, but Seinfeld certainly popularized the holiday. The Festivus idea originally came to Seinfeld writer Dan O’Keefe from a tradition started by his father Daniel O’Keefe. The elder O’Keefe had discovered the Festivus holiday in a book, published in 1966, that outlined obscure holidays. The book described many of the features later included in the Seinfeld episode. He was also inspired by the Samuel Beckett play Krapp’s Last Tape, whose protagonist tapes himself speaking at different times in his life.

The original Airing of Grievances was spoken into a tape recorder, and the O’Keefe family even retains some of the tapes.

The following is taken from a newspaper interview done by Dan O’Keefe and his father:

“It was entirely more peculiar than on the show,” the younger Mr. O’Keefe said from the set of the sitcom “Listen Up,” where he is now a writer. There was never a pole, but there were airings of grievances into a tape recorder and wrestling matches between Daniel and his two brothers, among other rites.

“There was a clock in a bag,” said Mr. O’Keefe, 36, adding that he does not know what it symbolized.

“Most of the Festivi had a theme,” he said. “One was, ‘Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?’ Another was, ‘Too easily made glad?’”

His father, a former editor at Reader’s Digest, said the first Festivus took place in February 1966, before any of his children were born, as a celebration of the anniversary of his first date with his wife, Deborah. The word “Festivus” just popped into his head, he said from his home in Chappaqua, N.Y.

The holiday evolved during the 1970’s, when the elder Mr. O’Keefe began doing research for his book Stolen Lightning (Vintage 1983), a work of sociology that explores the ways people use cults, astrology and the paranormal as a defense against social pressures.

New York Times - 19 December 2004

“Happy Festivus” is the traditional greeting of Festivus a holiday featured in “The Strike” episode of Seinfeld. The original slogan of Festivus is “A Festivus for the rest of us!” The episode first aired on December 18, 1997. Since then many people have been inspired by the goodness of the Seinfeld holiday and they now celebrate Festivus as any other holiday.

According to the Seinfeld model, Festivus is celebrated each year on December 23rd. However many people celebrate it other times in December and even at other times throughout the year.

On Seinfeld, the Festivus celebration can be dated back to Frank Costanza’ refusal to conform to the increased commercialism and consumerism that saturate the December holiday season. Frank Costanza, during a routine outing to secure a Christmas gift for his son George, realized that there should be a new holiday:

Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born... a Festivus for the rest of us!

Cosmo Kramer: That must’ve been some kind of doll.

Frank Costanza: She was.

In the episode, Kramer became interested in resurrecting the holiday after hearing the plight of his friend—Frank Costanza’s son, George (played by Jason Alexander)—who used the holiday celebration he hated in his youth as a defensive excuse to his employer, Kruger (played by Daniel von Bargen). George had been confronted by Kruger after handing out cards for Christmas to his fellow employees stating a donation had been made to a fake charity (invented by George) called The Human Fund (with the slogan “Money For People”) in lieu of exchanging Christmas presents. George defended himself saying that he feared persecution for his beliefs, for not celebrating Christmas. Attempting to call his bluff, Kruger came home with George to see Festivus in action.

Kramer, also invited to the celebration, goes on strike from his bagel vendor job, when his manager tells him he can’t get time off for “Festivus.” Kramer is then seen on the street with a sign which reads “Festivus yes! Bagels no!”

Festivus Pole

The Festivus tradition is centered around the display of an unadorned aluminum pole, which Frank Constanza praises for its “very high strength-to-weight ratio.” The aluminum pole was apparently chosen as an opposition to the commercialization of highly decorated Christmas trees, and also because Frank Costanza, “finds tinsel distracting.”

But how do you get your own Festivus Pole? Of course you can buy Festivus Pole. There are places on the web where you can order one. But, do you think that Frank Costanza ordered his Festivus pole from a web site? Festivus poles don’t come from a commercial entity. They come from the crawlspace, not from the mailman! Go to your crawlspace (or attic, basement or closet) and find out what you do have. Do you have an old lamp pole, curtain rod, a wooden plank, a cardboard tube? Anything that is non-commercial and non-flashy. That is the true spirit of Festivus.

If you are bound and determined to have an actual aluminum pole then go to the junkyard and find one. If that fails then go to the hardware store and buy a cheap piece of aluminum tube. Make sure that you are rude to the salesperson and try to barter the price down, because that’s what Frank Costanza would have done. :)

Whatever you do, do not decorate your pole.

Airing of Grievances

The celebration of Festivus begins with Airing of Grievances, which takes place immediately after the Festivus dinner has been served. Each participant tells friends and family of all the instances where they disappointed him or her that year.

Don’t forget to include guests (newcomers) to your list of people you may have grievances about, especially if you have a boss of a company that really stinks.

If you are shy, anonymously write your grievances on a sticky note and post the note to the Festivus Pole. Or stick them on Marjorie’s globe.

Festivus Dinner

There’s not much written material about what to expect with a Festivus Dinner. Our best source is the Seinfeld episode featuring Festivus. The on-air meal appeared to be meat loaf or spaghetti in a red sauce. In Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us by Allen Salkin, drinking is encouraged with hearty beer, rum, bourbon, or wine. In the episode, no alcohol was served, but George Costanza’s boss, Mr. Kruger, drank from a flask.

Feats of Strength

In Seinfeld, it is clearly stated that “Festivus is not over until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and pinned.” The Feats of Strength will normally follow the Airing of Grievances. It is usually the head of family’s choices as to who will participate in the Feats of Strength, however it is allowed to decline the offer only if they have something better to do instead.

Not everyone is fond of a Festivus party ending with a trip to the emergency room or long-term physiotherapy, however, and some good alternatives have been suggested:

• Arm Wrestling is fun but it usually ends up with a lot of people with sore arms. Avoid this. Some Festivus celebrations have adopted thumb wrestling as a suitable and safe feat of strength.
• Break out the Wii and use something like Wii boxing as your feats of strength.
• Have a staring contest. Kind of boring but totally no stress and no contact.
• Tickle fight is a good alternative. You tickle each other until one person submits. This is a good alternative for a party with a lot of singles. If there are small children at the gathering then you could send them to tickle the “head of the household” until he/she submits, then give the kids a treat for their efforts.
• Leg Wrestling. This is usually a no stress physical activity. Make sure you have a large enough space available!
• Who can hold their breathe the longest?

What a Holiday!

Amazing it took so long for me to create a Festivus theme!